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How to Survive Your Boyfriend's Divorce: Loving Your Separated Man without Losing Your Mind Paperback – September 26, 2000

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Robyn Todd (Author)
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Robyn Todd (Author), Lesley Dormen (Author)
4.2 out of 5 stars 61 customer reviews
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 192 pages
  • Publisher: M. Evans & Company (September 26, 2000)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0871319225
  • ISBN-13: 978-0871319227
  • Product Dimensions: 6.1 x 0.5 x 9.3 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (61 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #363,828 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

3.0 out of 5 starsOverall good nuggets of truth
By an interested reader on January 7, 2005
Format: Paperback
The authors did a fairly good job with tackling this sticky subject. Everyone has their own particular set of circumstances, but I think for the most part, the majority of women will be the "transitional woman" for a man going through his divorce, which is why I can understand the authors' choice to be quite negative about their thoughts on the man. For me personally, I stuck with my gut and knew that I had a special situation, and I was right. We made it through b/c we both had to acknowledge our temporary limitations and work within those boundaries (this tactic is outlined by the authors). As the book suggests to all women, I kept my own apartment, kept friendships intact, started new hobbies to keep myself occupied, and definitely kept a mental "side door" ajar in case I needed out. So, in general, I think this book is smart b/c it reminds women that they have choices, they must take responsibility for their own happiness, and it also outlines what to expect if a woman chooses to be in a situation like this. If you're willing to take on this kind of "high-risk" relationship with a man going through a divorce, good luck, but remember to always be honest with yourself, if something seems too good to be true, it probably is, and even the smartest, savviest woman can be brought to her knees in this type of situation, so brace yourself, and having a copy of this book handy is probably not a bad idea, since it's really the only one of its kind.
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5.0 out of 5 starsHelped me get my sanity back
By A Customer on February 29, 2000
Format: Hardcover
I got his book about a month ago, and I've read it about 5 times already. I've underlined it, highlighted it, and dog-eared the important pages. If you're involved with a man in the process of a divorce, this book is essential. It pointed out to me what I was doing wrong in the relationship. It also reminded me that I have 3 basic options: I can stay in the relationship, I can put it on hold, or I can leave. This may sound overly simple, but in the midst of the mess of a relationship of this type, you forget the most basic things. I laughed out loud, nodded my head, and actually said "Yes...that's true!" out loud as I read. This book sits next to my bed, and I turn to it almost daily to keep myself centered and on the right track. It gives several real life examples with analysis. The author doesn't mince words either. She realistically lays it all on the line. It's a cold, hard dose of reality, yet it does give you options for trying to make the relationship work. I've read a ton of "self-help" books, and this one is truly worth every penny. My first word of advice: Don't get involved with a divorcing man. My second word of advice: If you do, get this book!
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5.0 out of 5 starsI'm Not Alone!
By A Customer on April 5, 2000
Format: Hardcover
My boyfriend and I had just begun the "putting it on hold" process when I bought this book, and although I knew it was the right thing to do, I wasn't sure why I couldn't "fix things" myself without a break. Now I know that I am not alone, and that even being a Cindy Crawford/Mother Theresa combo won't help me get through these difficult times, or make the process go any faster. Like the majority of women who read this book, I too, believed that love could conquer all, and was surprised to find the relationship with my recently-separated boyfriend floundering despite the love that existed. This book truly dropped out of the sky at the right moment for me, reaffirming our decision to take a break, and suggesting many alternatives to help us move forward in the future. I have never been a big self-help reader, but I would encourage anyone even remotely considering purchasing this book to do so. It was worth every penny and triple that! I am on my third read-through and am absorbing more, and in the process, becoming a stronger person AND a stronger partner each time! Thanks so much to the authors for their much-needed work!
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2.0 out of 5 starsWarning: contents may be a little harsh!
By A Customer on May 8, 2003
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This book contains some useful information for someone in the unique (and often painful) position of dating a divorcing man. It is the only book of its kind. The authors focus primarily on how to take care of your relationship, and yourself, while your partner is getting divorced. They address some of the issues women face when dating these men, inlcuding divorce delays, meeting his children, and how to tell if your partner is a keeper.

The book, written by a woman whose relationship with a divorcing man failed, appears to be written based solely on her own experience. It has a bitter taste to it and tends to portray the men as selfish and the women as fools. For example, the authors go into detail about how the divorcing man will devote to you and tell you how wonderful you are only because he's desperate from having just come out of a bad marriage. How much do you want to bet that this happened to the author? It didn't seem to occur to her that it's possible for a divorcing man to genuinely care for a woman. I know because mine did. My good friend's did. At times the book is even rude, telling you to "stop whining" and "get over it!" Yuck.

This book needed more insight and less bitterness. I have a difficult time recommending it, but I recognize that there must be some women who can relate to the book. If you are dating a divorcing man and are about to lose it, read the book with the warning that it's a little harsh, and with the understanding that it's only written by someone who's been through it rather than an expert on relationships/divorce. Good luck!
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Most Recent Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5 starsI wish I had this book from Day 1!!!!!!

Totally validated several thoughts, feelings, ideas, resentments, considerations of "is this all worth it", feelings about his kids, and finally how truly difficult it is to date... Read more

Published 1 month ago by Kindle Customer
5.0 out of 5 starsGood Advice

My boyfriend is separated and going through a divorce and this book gave a lot of insight on his actions and communication skills. Read more

Published 2 months ago by Eden
4.0 out of 5 starsIt's the real deal...

It was very good and informative. Some of the dialogue and stories matched my situation 100% and provided me with some great advice. I'm dying to see if it is going to work.

Published 3 months ago by Stacey L. Ford, author of Selling the Fantasy
4.0 out of 5 starsGood book for those struggling to understand what the hell ...

Good book for those struggling to understand what the hell you got yourself into. As a woman who was going through a divorce herself, I simply could get why he had the guilt he... Read more

Published 7 months ago by W. Krosse
4.0 out of 5 starsFlawed but worth it.

Both the negative and positive reviews for this book are right. The book is full of parts I want to underline, and it's also full of parts that make me say, "Um, WTF? Read more

Published 13 months ago by Min
5.0 out of 5 starsWhen things got rough I would just pick it up and read parts and it...

I swear this book saved my relationship with my not-divorced boyfriend. When things got rough I would just pick it up and read parts and it was like the book was speaking to me, at... Read more

Published 15 months ago by Anne
2.0 out of 5 starsFocuses on Self-Centered and Closed-Mindedness

This book discusses does not discuss how to deal with maintaining a relationship with someone that you care about. Read more

Published 16 months ago by Celia A. Escalante
4.0 out of 5 starsReally great advice. I WISH I had followed it

Really great advice. I WISH I had followed it!!! It took me more than a year to get out of a relationship I should have ended only 2 months after getting into it (which is what... Read more

Published 19 months ago by Joanna Hooper
5.0 out of 5 starsDon't be a bandaid!

Crazily on point! I really wish I had read this BEFORE I got involved with a guy in the middle of a divorce. Read more

Published 21 months ago by Iliahi Niheu
2.0 out of 5 starsTwo Stars

Poorly written and don't give good advise.

Published 21 months ago by L. Olson

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